Posts filed under 'Humor'

CNN Good For A Laugh

I give CNN credit for at least publishing the articles, but I found it funny to see the sort of scenario you find occasionally due to advertising revenue models. One recent article about gas prices and ways to confront the issue featured advertisements with Father’s Day gifts…with a photo of a green Lamborghini that your dad could zip around in for a bit—for the low price of $1495.

Wow…what not a great way to beat the expense of high dollar gas—blowing $1495 for a few hours of driving a car. Not that I don’t appreciate muscle cars, hot rods, racing, dragsters, etc., as I totally do. But what a perfect example of how to drop the ball with demographics. CNN could use some help in their marketing department it seems.

The article was interesting, though. Another article I found of interest was: Oklahoma’s painful car culture.

Oh, and you might as well check out: Is America’s suburban dream collapsing into a nightmare?

CNN on beating the cost of gas...

CNN advertisement for Father\'s Day...

Maybe it’s only funny to someone with a marketing background? Oh well, it’s late and I’m bored…


1 comment June 17, 2008

Just When You Thought TSA Was Retarded, The Brits Go One Better

Yes, just when you thought TSA held the crown for idiocy in travel security for making people remove their deadly nipple rings, the British come along and snatch it away! How exciting this whole global goat-fuck on terrorism has become.

Now, the British are making you take off your Transformer t-shirts before boarding planes because they pose a security risk. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, those crazy Brits. What’s next? Anyone care to venture a guess as to which agency in the world will seize the crown next? Who would’ve thought the nation that gave the world cricket could snatch the top honors from the TSA?


Add comment June 3, 2008

US Military Says It Is A Crime To Shoot The Quran, Relieves GI

While I think it was probably not a smart thing to do, and perhaps in poor taste, I don’t see how US military commanders can call it a crime. The soldier, a sniper, was punished and reassigned to duty back in the States.

According to Major General Jeffrey Hammond:

“The actions of one soldier were nothing more than criminal behavior,” Hammond said. “I’ve come to this land to protect you, to support you — not to harm you — and the behavior of this soldier was nothing short of wrong and unacceptable.”

(Source: CNN.com)

Another military “official” apparently kissed a Quran and presented it as a gift to some tribal sheiks.

Well, here we have the US military kissing asses and Qurans and punishing soldiers who shoot books? I wonder what would happen if a whole lot of soldiers started shooting Qurans for a free ride home?

And then you have Iraqis crying about it being a crime. It’s a book. Get over it and yourselves.

Here we have an American soldier defending the government of Iraq and America getting punished because he doesn’t like the holy book of terrorism and barbarism–and his own chain of command screwing up his career in a heartbeat to kiss ass. Remember your oath? Enemies, foreign and domestic? There are a lot of those in the chain of command anymore.

Your leadership will sell you out in a heartbeat; happens every time in the military. The good news, if American servicemembers want to come home all they need to do is shoot, burn or piss on a Quaran. Wouldn’t it be funny as hell if a few thousand decided to voice their disgust with the mission in Iraq, the government of Iraq, and our own political leaders by doing a simple thing that in America we have the freedom to do, but in the faux ‘democrazy’ of Iraq you cannot?

Nancy Pelosi has been going about it all wrong. She ought to just stand next to a giant cardboard cutout of John Wayne and suggest that real Americans would shoot or burn or piss on or otherwise desecrate the Quaran. The war would be over in a flash as our welcome was worn out and soldiers were sent stateside by the thousands.

If anyone knows who that sniper was, pass along the word that he’s forever welcome at my fire. You have brothers-in-arms (both current and former) out there that won’t sell you out. We aren’t at all like our Quran-kissing government and certain Quran-kissing officers appointed by it.

I can’t wait for the hate-mail. I’ll have something to read at least. Truthfully, I could care less. Islam is a religion of hate and intolerance and the Quran promotes oppression, barbarity, and everything that stands against the values of Western civilization. Since I’m not in the Army anymore, I think I’ll go buy a copy of the Quran to shoot, burn and piss on in a showing of support and solidarity for the unfortunate sniper who was merely expressing his dissatisfaction with the war.

In fact, I invite all members of Western Civilization to join me in this show of support.

In fact, I think we ought to create a Pro Western Civilization and Freedoms Day, where we celebrate by burning copies of the Quran and posting cartoons of Muhammad online. I nominate July 4 as the perfect day since there will already be lots of bangs and burning going on.

To anyone who might think to complain about my characterization, don’t bother until millions of Muslims condemn terrorism and take to the streets protesting against Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Al Qaeda and Muqtada Al Sadr. You see, if you take exception with my characterization that the Quran doesn’t advocate violence and oppression, then you must demonstrate it and your willingness to condemn those (and even fight against them) who use it for those purposes. Until the Muslim world does, their silent condoning of it will win them no sympathy from me.

It’s time we call it like it is. Religion is screwing up our world and holding human progress back. All religions. I’m all for spirituality and a belief in the divine…but the moment people organize and declare some moral authority and knowledge of the divine that another cannot access for personal, political and other reasons and begin seeking money, influence and power…that’s where I draw the line at tolerating it.

Maybe while I’m at it I’ll shoot, burn and piss on copies of a Bible and the Torah as well. It is largely the Abrahamic faiths that have screwed up the world for most of the last several millennia after all. I wonder if that sniper is willing to shoot a copy of the Bible?

Now, lest you think I don’t understand the need for being sensitive to the concerns of people in a host nation while on a military mission, you’re quite wrong. What he did was not smart at all.

But a crime? Please. Already I have read on liberal blogs how horrible this whole thing was, yet those same liberals are too happy to condone real crimes that illegal aliens commit in coming to this country and the real crimes they commit after they are here, and the crimes of the unethical business owners who hire them to make an easy dollar, and the crimes of the politicians who seek to give our nation away.

July 4, baby. Send my your Quran videos and photos.

In fact, I think I may do something I have not previously done and open my blog up to blogging by anyone who wants to guest blog on the topic of the conflict between Western civilization and the forces of Islamification, the topic of religious corruption and misuse, or on the topics of freedoms and liberties. In fact, I’m declaring now that the entire month of June and the first week of July, I am now accepting and soliciting posts on those topics should anyone care to jump in on the issues.

I’m not saying I will take any and all submissions and post them, but if it is well written and you ran a spell check, there’s no reason it won’t get posted–unless it is full of hate-mongering and comments that are slurs, racist rantings, etc. Let that be clear: I take exception with ideologies and actions and politics and even with individuals, but not with any race or ethnic group (I’m multi-racial myself after all).


24 comments May 18, 2008

Bushmunch & Dickhead Go To War

OK, whatever your politics…this ought to get a laugh. Might as well post something while mulling over the state of the blog.


2 comments April 13, 2008

Condensed Soup And The View: Elisabeth Hasselbeck Too Smart For Them All

The host of Yahoo’s Condensed Soup segment apparently found an analogy by Elisabeth Hasselbeck too difficult to comprehend and tried to poke fun at her. Apparently, he did not realize just how stupid it makes him look.

That’s OK, he isn’t alone. Hasselbeck’s co-hosts on The View couldn’t make the connection either.

See the video for yourself.

Apparently no one is smart enough to grasp the simple concept Elisabeth laid out: all the good one has done does not excuse any future action.

I think it’s time for some media companies to start looking in a different talent pool for hosts. Preferably, in the pool where people have something better than a third grade education.

Racists remarks by Rev. Jeremiah Wright, in the analogy Hasselbeck was trying to make, are not excused by his having previously done good works. She was simply making a point everyone in the world ought to understand really.

Everyone, that is, but wannabe comedians and talk show hosts with condensed soup for brains.


11 comments March 28, 2008

Check Out DrunkDuck

For those comic fans out there, I thought you might enjoy this site.

DrunkDuck - The Webcomics Community

If you have an interest in comics you will likely find something here that will catch your attention. Topics of the comics you will find indexed are as varied as the styles of art you will stumble across. I checked a few out and had quite a few laughs doing so. It’s a great site and worth a peek.

The tongue-in-cheek retro style of I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space - A Salacious Tale Of Seduction And Lust is but one example of what you might find. Enjoy.


Add comment March 19, 2008

The Fairy FedMother Waves AntiRecession Credit Wand

The Federal Reserve announced plans to back a troubled institution in hopes of keeping hidden any signs that point to the recession we’re not in. Well, actually, they’re going to back the backer. In an attempt to prop up investment bank, Bear Stearns, the Fed will back JP Morgan so they can lend Stearns secured funds for 28 days.

I’m sure by then, all the problems the company had will have magically disappeared, right? The Fed waves its wand and just like magic the thought of recession turns into a horse drawn carriage gilded in gold! But, what happens at midnight? I know, we’ll get an extension—on credit from the Fed…


Add comment March 14, 2008

Mongo The Rabbit

I was pointing out Mongo the Rabbit to my nephew. He lives out back in an abandoned bee hive, being the only rabbit around with a condo. He is an incredibly large cottontail, larger than most swamp rabbits and could probably kick any jack rabbit’s ass he wanted.

My nephew, of course, did not understand why he was named Mongo. Kids…

For those who seek enlightenment and understanding of giant rabbits, I give you Mongo!


2 comments March 8, 2008

Democrats Attack McCain For Saving Americans $6 Billion, Claim Outsourcing Is Bad

Funny how the anti-war Democrats are jumping all over Senator McCain for stopping the deal that Boeing was hoping to get for an Air Force tanker. I find it so funny how Democrats flip flop on issues so consistently. It’s the one thing in America you can always count on besides taxes.

McCain claims he saved American taxpayers $6 billion and Democrats are upset about it because it means the contract will be fulfilled by an overseas company. Democrats are soooooooooo upset about it being outsourced.

How come these same Democrats are not upset about illegal immigrants taking American jobs and artificially depressing wages in this nation? How come these same Democrats are not upset that American farmers are moving their farms south of the border rather than pay decent wages to Americans? How come these same Democrats are only too happy to support the outsourcing of IT and manufacturing jobs overseas?

Senator McCain does those same things, however. So why are Democrats upset with him? They appear to be on the same side on nearly every issue, and McCain is a political cuddle-buddy with Hillary Clinton after all. What gives?

Apparently Democrats only get upset when it is contracts that provide jobs for their constituents building war planes to help out in the wars they condemn that are threatened by outsourcing. And all this time I thought liberals and Democrats loved the French.

Whatever the case, Boeing’s unethical practices brought the contract to an end, and the blame is ultimately that company’s. But, I’m only too happy to watch McCain and Democrats attack each other. Neither are doing anything really important or useful for Americans.


Add comment March 8, 2008

How Do You Tell If A Community Embraces Open Source?

Have you ever wondered if there was a quick and easy way to tell whether or not a smaller city or town is apt to be geek friendly and familiar with Open Source? Perhaps you are considering relocating and want to gauge the odds of finding a home for your Open Source skillset?

There is a surprisingly easy way to do so.

[Note: Click on image below to see it in its entirety.]

I'm A Linux

Head to the office supply stores or computer stores. There is one item you will be looking for…

Continue Reading Add comment February 27, 2008

Varmint Profile: The Voting Coward

There is a peculiar creature that lives in America, that falls in the same group with other nuisance varmints. There might be one living in your neighborhood. They breed so fast it is probable that you have encountered many.

What creature am I talking about? Why, the Voting Coward.

Photobucket

These creatures vote for candidates they think are ‘electable‘ rather than those who share their views. They vote for those with ‘the best chance of winning‘ rather than the candidate with the most admirable views and voting record to back their position.

These critters have been known to vote for someone they don’t like or agree with at all…just because they belong to a particular political party. Some vote for politicians that say they want to secure our country while proposing amnesty for illegal aliens. Some vote for politicians that say they have experience, and yet have only completed one term as a Senator—or have cast votes in conflict with what they say they believe.

Ralph Nader’s entry into the Presidential race brought many of them scurrying out of the woodwork. Checking out some of the comments on his website, I couldn’t help but notice the large number of the Democratic party members who have attacked Mr. Nader and his campaign, decrying his candidacy for no better reason than they fear it will steal votes from their ho-hum candidates for short-changing the American people.

Many of the comments were quite sad. Some said they would like to vote for Mr. Nader, but can’t ‘risk‘ their vote.

Meaning that instead of voting based on beliefs and principles, they vote tactically. This sad game we play in our country will never end and we will never have a true candidate of change (Obama is still down with the idea of bombing Iran, remember that Democrats) elected because of the exploding population of Voting Cowards.

How far have we sunk as a nation when citizens think they are taking a risk by casting a vote? The risk is taken by those defending our nation and preserving your right to vote, silly varmint.

Protect your community and let everyone know when you encounter one of the critters, but be careful—these lemming-like creatures have a herd mentality. They are easy to live-trap, however, being attracted to convenience.

If you should feel the urge to see what one of these Voting Cowards looks like, don’t look anywhere around the Ralph Nader and Ron Paul campaigns—you won’t find any there.


2 comments February 26, 2008

Prince Andrew Offers Criticism Of US On Iraq

Prince Andrew—fourth in line to the British throne and a former naval aviator—chose to be critical of the USA ahead of a planned visit. That makes about as much sense as what he had to say.

He thinks American and British relations are in a “trough” and suggested that the US government should have listened to the British more on issues regarding Iraq. They have a wealth of experience in counterinsurgency, colonialism and so forth, after all.

Is the Prince is being facetious, or did he wake up forgetful?

Maybe if the British had not subjugated so many nations (thus racking up said experience in colonial rule and counterinsurgency) and drawn the idiotic lines that mapped out the modern Middle East with a total disregard for the history of various peoples and common sense, we wouldn’t have to be there now. Certainly, we would be having an easier time of it.

Perhaps if the British had more than a paltry handful of troops in Iraq, things would be going smoother as well?

Maybe what we Americans need is a British Royal in Iraq to tell us how to win the war?

I suppose we’ll just have to do our best without, since the British are afraid to send any…

Why We Probably Did Not Ask For Advice

British sport…

Photobucket

American sport…

Photobucket

British SUV…

Photobucket

American SUV…

bronco

Enough said?


3 comments February 26, 2008

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Impetus

Caffeine fueled emarketing, politics, business, Linux, philosophy, beer, boxing, music, technology, and writing. And other stuff, too...




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