My Errant Mind

Let me get this straight. In Lebanon, the army—which is the army of a largely Muslim nation—is doing battle with other Muslims, right? And they are doing battle with terrorists? And these terrorists are in Palestinian refugee camps?

And, according to the Lebanese army, these terrorists are using civilians as shields?

Is that not what Israel not only stated in its invasion of Lebanon last year, but provided evidence of on film? Many nations condemned Israel partly on the grounds of civilian collateral damage in the fighting, claiming Hezbollah never resorted to the tactic of using human shields or parking their equipment in or near civilian dwellings. Hmmm…

Yet, now that the Lebanese people themselves claim this is happening…what? It is suddenly true now—where it was not previously when it was Israel making the claims?

You expect the world to believe terrorists are using civilians as human shields? Give me a break!

Next, you will be wanting the world to believe Hezbollah and Hamas are terrorists! Come on. Everyone knows that Hezbollah builds things, sells nectarines and provides social services to people.

And THAT, my friend, is what makes them different from Al Qaeda! Terrorists don’t have parades and office buildings. Or fruit orchards.

They only have websites—everyone knows that.

If Al Qaeda had any intelligence at all, they would just build a school and rent office space like Hamas and Hezbollah. Then they would be legit, right? Who cares if your business model revolves around suicide bombings and beheadings, so long as you are helping the poor uneducated masses learn how to hate and are giving them food and acetaminophen.

What the hell is wrong with the world, attacking heavily armed, radical Islamic militants that are completely innocent? Next, someone will be trying to convince me that Syria and Iran aren’t paragons of innocence and enlightened culture. They would not even need secret police if it were not for the UN trying to overthrow them all the time. Everyone knows that.

This is obviously all some Western country’s fault. Muslims would never fight each other if there were no other civilizations on Earth. Look at how well they get along in Iraq, Yemen, Somalia, Turkey, and elsewhere.

It is only a small concern, but still… In case you don’t notice the humor tag that this post is also filed under, this is for you. I am not saying that the militants the Lebanese are fighting are innocent, nor that Syria and Iran are either. I’m not even being satirical. More like satynical (satirical + cynical = satynical?).

Interesting. That sounds like satanical. Is there a connection between Satan and dark humor involving Middle Eastern politics?

It’s enough to make one’s head dizzy. I think I will go fire up my table saw or sit outside in the sun and watch pigs fly.